


Burn my Eyes and Cut Out My Heart

by VicenteValtieri



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Mirror Universe, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Adjusting, Blindness, F/M, M/M, Masks, OOC, Slavery, Sometimes Sad, doc mccoy is awesome too, non-con mentions, sobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-07-20 03:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 4,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7388269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VicenteValtieri/pseuds/VicenteValtieri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Khan is taken prisoner and blinded by the infamous Dr. Death of the USS Enterprise. But McCoy is a gentleman and helps his slave to adjust to the constant darkness and restraints blindness causes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Khan ran from the crumbling wreckage like he had nothing left to lose.

A halo of white light surrounded a figure only twenty feet away and the race was on.

Khan snapped around a corner, almost lying flat on the ground in his haste.

The chasing figure of one of the USS Enterprise's best officers followed at the same speed, taking the time to grab a passing child and hand her back to the mother. In intense fury, he pursued the other into the maze of intersecting streets.

Khan looked back for a moment, catching sight of a blue shirt and gold sash. He turned forwards and redoubled his speed.

The figure adjusted and came flying after him.

Khan noticed an open manhole and dropped into the stormdrain beneath. It was unusually dry, though it smelled like mildew. He didn't take the time to look around before he was running into the dark.

The sound of footsteps behind him told him he was being followed at an alarming pace. There was no light and no way to tell who or what was following him, but he should have outpaced and outdistanced even the Vulcan by now.

At a dead end in the pitch passage, he turned to fight. Running had been useless, but even a super-endurant alien species wouldn't stand to his fighting prowess.

He waited for the attack, preparing every defense imagineable. And waited. And waited some more. And waited...

And NOTHING CAME!

He could hear the other one's breathing. Hear that he was just out of reach, waiting for Khan to make a move. It was a patience game, one that Khan wasn't sure he could win.

Fortunately, the other one decided to make a move. He stepped forwards. "Well, isn't this a special place. What say you surrender so I don't have to hurt you and we call it a day, huh?"

It was the bloody doctor. The doctor had him pinned in a tunnel without retreat. He had made a mistake.

How had he followed him so fast? He was only human, wasn't he?

Khan aimed a punch at the place where the voice had come from and his fist met empty air.

"I guess not, huh?"

Once the doctor put his hands on Khan, he fell into a fighting rhythm. Tossing the doctor down, he climbed up, only to feel sharp stinging in his arms.

Had the doctor... scratched him?

There must have been a poison or a tranquilizer in those nails because all of a sudden he felt slowed down. He had to end this quickly.

Grabbing for the doctor's throat, he was rebuffed by his hands. They wrestled on the concrete, trying to bang each other's heads against the tunnel's sides, giving and taking minor blows as they went.

Suddenly, the doctor's nails raked over his face and across his eyes. There was blood everywhere. He gave a few final blows and then tried to crawl away from the invading blows. 

Dr. McCoy stood up. "I'm sorry about this, you bastard." He reached out and stomped on the crawling augment's hip with all his might.

Khan screamed.


	2. Waking Up

Khan woke slowly. For a moment, he thought he was back in the pitch dark of the tunnel. 

Then, the sounds and smells of medicine brought him to the truth. He was in a hospital of some kind and a very sarcastic doctor was arguing with someone above him.

"He's not dangerous for god's sake. I took him down with ease once you let me loose. Honestly, he should never have been out of my sight once we knew what he was."

"Well that still doesn't answer the question of what we do with him." That was the Captain, damnable man.

Khan elected to feign unconsciousness. He was held immobile by a body cradle anyway, doubtless to keep him from aggravating his injuries, and there was nothing he could have done.

"Easy. I'm keeping him. I can study his construction and keep him out of trouble better than any other doctor in the Fleet and you know it."

"Yeah, I know it. All right, but you keep him in line. I don't need him pitching another curveball at us."

"When have I ever been wrong, kid? I can keep him quiet and out of the way. Be nice to have some company who's not a complete moron around."

Khan expected the captain to take offense, but to his surprise, the man chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. Have fun." His footsteps retreated.

The doctor went back to his work, humming something, and Khan decided that since there would be no profit in waking, he would go back to sleep.


	3. I Woke up and the Sun was Dead

Khan woke for the second time to near silence. He strained to hear and couldn't distinguish anything but soft, relaxed breathing and the shuffle of papers.

Opening his eyes, he saw nothing.

For a moment, he thought the lights must be off. He blinked and waited for his eyes to adjust to the dim light.

But they didn't adjust.

Then, he realized that there was a slight pressure over them and he laughed in relief. Of course, he was blind folded.

"You awake over there?" McCoy's slightly gruff voice broke over him. "Oh, good. Just let me get a tri-corder on you and take a looksee."

Khan could feel that his wounds were mended. There was no pain. Just the annoying weight of cloth on his face. "Why am I blind-folded, Doctor? I am not restrained."

"You're not blind-folded, mister. That's bandages. And, looks like they can come off. I warn you, it's gonna be a bit of a shock."

"Whatever scars there are, I'm sure I can take it, doctor."

"Not the scars I'm worried about." McCoy loosened the gauze and peeled it off slowly. "There we go."

Khan blinked. Then blinked again. "This isn't funny, doctor. What have you done to my eyes?"

McCoy was silent for a long moment. "I'm sorry. I had to bring you back alive."

Khan took a moment to realize what he meant. 

The screams of rage and loss were deafening.


	4. If You Look at Me, You Can't Tell

Khan was huddled on his side on McCoy's small office bed. His eyes squeezed shut.

McCoy had gone back to his desk to continue work on his files while Khan pitched his fit.

Now that he was quiet, McCoy walked back over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Open your eyes, Kahn."

"No." He squeezed tighter.

"Khan, open your eyes."

Khan fisted the blanket.

"Come on, let me see them." He tipped his chin up and to the side.

Khan pitched his head, but the doctor had a grip like iron.

"Open up, or I will cut off the eyelids."

That convinced him to partially slit the eyelids. He was met with darkness, as before, and wept softly as the doctor gently tugged them further open. "Yeah. I got 'em good. I don't know if there's anything I can do besides a full replacement. Not sure that would be wise, given it's you."

Khan gave a soft sob. "What is to become of me?"

"Well, for now you're mine. As in mine, if you get my drift. For now, you'll rest. I'm not convinced you're fully recovered. After a bit, we'll see about recuperation, adjustment, that sort of thing."

Khan shook his head out of McCoy's grip and buried his face back in the pillow.

"Sleep for now. No one feels good when they're tired." McCoy patted his back and moved away, leaving Khan marooned in the dark.


	5. Fell Asleep and Dreamed I was Awoken

Khan woke to McCoy's hand on his shoulder. "Come on, you great lug. I want to go to bed."

Khan kept his eyes closed. "All right."

"Stand up and I'll guide you. Come on."

Khan swung towards the wrong side of the bed. The doctor's other hand moved inhumanly fast and grabbed his knee. "Not that way. Other way."

He swung properly to his feet and the doctor took his arm by the elbow. "All right. This way."

They made it to the doctor's quarters without incident. Suddenly, the doctor changed their positions, getting behind Khan and taking hold of him under the armpits. "At about half-chest height. There's a button. Press it."

Khan reached out, found the button, and pressed it. The door slid open, he could hear it.

"All right. Now, I don't have time to give you a full tour, but let's try and get from the door to the bedroom without hurting ourselves."

Khan tensed slightly at the mention of the bedroom. What would this doctor want? He said he wanted Khan to heal, but what twisted definition could "Dr. Death" have?

"Okay. On your left, there's a low table. My main room doesn't have a lot of space, so we have to maneuver between the table and a set of bookshelves on the right. It's tight, but workable."

Khan put one hand out and caught the edge of the bookshelf. Following it, he missed the sharp corner of the coffeetable by a millimeter.

"Turn sharp right and there's another button beside the door."

"Khan found the button and pressed it.

"All right. We're in the bedroom. Now, my bed is directly in front of you."

Khan tensed further. Here it came.

"But I set up a pallet for you. Hope it's comfortable. He guided Khan to the left and made him bend over to feel the edge of the pallet. "There we are. I'll find you something to sleep in."

Khan felt around the pallet. It appeared to be a mattress of some sort, laid out with sheets and a blanket. There was a second blanket as well.

"Clothes for slaves are considered a luxury. So, you'll have to make do like I do: Minimally. Here, these are my extra set of PJs." McCoy placed something beside him. "Now, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. You hungry?"

Khan shook his head.

"Okay. Go to bed, then. I don't want you knocking into things."

Khan flushed in anger. He did not knock into things.

But given that he was blind...

Perhaps the concern was warranted.

McCoy went about his business while Khan struggled to get out of his clothes and into the pajamas. They smelled earthy and floral. Maybe McCoy used a scented product.

He closed his eyes. It made him feel better to have them shut.

He heard McCoy getting dressed in his own sleeping clothes and into bed. "Night, Khan."

He allowed the silence to hang for a moment. "Good night, Doctor."


	6. Waking Up To Darkness

Khan had always had an odd sleep cycle. His time in Marcus' captivity had only further messed with him.

But last night's nightmare had been worse than others. He opened his eyes, fully expecting to see Sickbay's ceiling.

The complete darkness was a shocking reminder.

Khan felt about and found the edges of the pallet as well as Dr. McCoy's bed. Silent tears streamed down his face and he gathered his knees close to his chest. Augmented or not, he still needed all five senses to make sense of the world. His escape, his people's survival, all depended on him and something as simple as a scratch had stood between them.

"Khan?" The Doctor's voice pierced the small bubble of darkness around him, but he didn't respond. "Khan, are you all right? Stupid question, obviously not."

The hand on his shoulder surprised him more than he was willing to admit, as did the sudden weight on the pallet that indicated the doctor's movements.

"Don't touch me!" Khan let it out in surprise, as he slapped the hand away, not gently either.

The doctor was silent as his sobs renewed and redoubled, but his voice eventually became audible again. "...nano-bots, when inserted into the developing system. Seems the little suckers set up colonies all over the works, coating bones, enhancing organs, even becoming a thin layer of armor plating under the skin. I've developed a particular control system that allows me to use them outside my body as well as inside."

"What are you saying?" Khan allowed his interest to override his misery.

"I'm telling you how the innocuous Dr. McCoy managed to take down the great Khan Noonien Singh."

Well, that had been one of Khan's questions floating around his head.

"Here. Be careful, they're sharp." The doctor guided one of his hands to his fingernails. To Khan's surprise, they were cool, metallic, and three inches long. The edges felt like razor.

"What did I say about careful?" He reprimanded Khan as blood welled from a small cut on his fingertip.

Khan took his hand away and allowed the cut to heal. "It's nothing, doctor. I have had worse." Obviously, he had scratched Khan with those.

"You're lucky I disabled the poisons. I gave you a tremendous dose in that bloody storm drain and it barely slowed you down."

"I take it these nano-bots make you stronger as well?"

"Let's put it this way: Take what you are, and add about ten percent. That's my ratings."

Khan snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. If you don't believe me, we can have a contest." He stood up. "If you feel better, or at least calmer, I'm going back to bed. Even if I can go for weeks without sleeping, it doesn't mean I want to."

Khan realized what he had been doing: Distracting Khan with technical ratings, one of his passions.

He didn't go back to sleep as he laid there on the pallet. Staring into the darkness, he tried to find any sign of the objects around him.

But he was marooned in constant darkness, at the mercy of anyone passing by.


	7. No, Really.

The doctor got up before alpha shift. "You awake, Khan? Come on, get up."

Khan sat up begrudgingly, holding hid eyes shut.

"Here we go. Knew I had some of this around here." The doctor approached and handed him a length of something soft and smooth.

"Black ribbon. Classic. Just like playing blind man's bluff."

Khan found the edges of the ribbon and tied it around his face. He would never admit it, but the ribbon did make him feel better. Less disoriented. "All right. Are my disfigurements suitably hidden?"

"That's not why I gave you that and you know it. Now, let's make breakfast. You like waffles?"

Khan shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Well, someone's in a charming mood today." McCoy was directly in front of him. "Come on. Stand up. We're going to take a grand tour of my quarters."


	8. Breakfast

McCoy arranged himself behind Khan, like before. "All right. Now, I know you have an eidetic memory. I want you to do your best to get this in one shot. Some of the smaller details might take a while, but I don't have a lot of time for this kind of playing. Now, we're going to go to the bathroom. Turn to your left and walk."

 

The bathroom was three steps to the left, another turn, and four more steps away. The toilet was beside the door in an alcove, the shower stall across the room, the sink opposite the toilet.

 

"Try not to knock into things here. I keep an actual shaving kit. Not those damn safety razors."

 

Khan jotted that down in his memory for future use and the tour continued.

 

The main room consisted of a sofa, coffeetable, and three bookshelves as well as a replicator for meals.

 

"We'll eat in a moment for now, feel right here." He brushed Khan's hand over a doorway. "There's not a lot I'm gonna forbid you to touch, but everything in here makes up most of it. This is my office and private laboratory. Don't go in. I'd be upset."

 

Khan nodded. "Very well."

 

"Now, I'm gonna be at work most of the day. Until you get sorted, I won't take you with me." He guided Khan back to the shelves. "Almost all of my books are ordinary. You'll need to figure out braille eventually, but I don't have anything. This shelf is books." He guided Khan's hand across their spines. "This one is music. You can get the computer to play a disk. Just search around until you find something you like. Movies here, and a few audiobooks. Feel free to explore."

 

Khan nodded. "Thank you." A suitably innocuous reply.

 

"All right. Let's get something in you and I'll be off." McCoy guided him to the sofa. "We'll go over the replicator when I get back for lunch. For now, I hope you like waffles."

 

As a matter of fact, Khan hated waffles. Especially replicated ones. But he would eat what was put in front of him.

 

The meal that he was offered was difficult without sight. At least the doctor didn't humiliate him further by offering to help.

 

Though when he nearly upset the plate, he did reach out and catch it. "Careful."

 

Khan snarled. "I'm trying."

 

"Hush, now. I'm not upset. Just rather not clean eggs and syrup out of the carpet."

 

Khan took another bite, resentful of the situation.

 

Eventually, McCoy stood up. "I have to go. I'll be back at lunch."

 

Khan barely acknowledged him.


	9. Operatic

Khan felt his way to the shelves after finishing his "breakfast" such as it was. At least he had been fed.

The music was easy to find, but most of it wasn't to his taste. He supposed he would have to get used to his... Master's taste in music, but when he was alone, he wanted to have something he liked.

Bluegrass, country, jazz, more of the same...

Khan thrust out a hand in frustration and his hand caught the edge of a final set of disks. It had been shoved out of the way, as if the Doctor didn't like it.

It was worth trying any way.

He found that the music was a combination playlist of the best of opera, electronic synth, and even Hindi music. He was shocked. It was beautiful.

He settled on the couch to listen and wait and thanked whoever was out there that he had something to keep him sane.


	10. Catterwauling

Doctor McCoy arrived back at his quarters for lunch in good time. He opened the doors to be met with the surreal sound of operatic voices over electronic synthing.

Khan was on the couch, his head moving gently in time with the music.

"I hear you found the caterwauling collection." McCoy drawled, Khan's ears communicating his position. "Don't know why I kept the stuff. But if you like it, I won't stop you listenin'."

Another kindness. Khan tallied it with the others. What did this man want from him? Marcus had been easy to understand. His hatred fueling his desire for more and more weapons, larger payloads.

But McCoy had, so far anyway, given of himself without asking for favor in return and it disturbed Khan.

He was silent while he thought.


	11. The Captain

Khan looked up as the door opened again.

"You don't have him restrained?" It was the Captain.

"Blindness is it's own restraint." McCoy reminded the Captain.

"Right. Give us a mo'?"

McCoy was silent for a long time. "You won't hurt or berate him, will you?"

"Of course not. Just want to clear something up."

"Five minutes. And if I hear anything, I'm comin' back in."

"Agreed."


	12. Clearing the Air

"Don't expect me to pity you just because you're blind. You're fully capable of causing a lot of damage, even without your sight." Kirk crossed his arms. "The doctor is softer than I am."

Khan didn't dignify him with an answer.

"That said, don't make any more trouble on my ship. I respect Bones and he wants you alive, but you don't have to be comfortable."

"What makes you think I am comfortable?" Khan retorted.

"You also need to learn your place. I'll tolerate it this once. Don't let it happen again." He swept out.

Khan curled up into a ball. 

The Doctor stepped back in, muttering obscenities. "I'll get lunch. Want anything specific?"

Khan didn't dignify him with an answer either.


	13. Refusal

Khan took to his bed, such as it was. It was easier to sleep and dream of better days than to get up and face the reality of his life. The only thing that he bothered with was the operatic collection of music Dr. McCoy so resented.

"I found another disk of that caterwauling." The Doctor told him, standing in the bedroom door. "Why don't you give it a spin?"

"Perhaps tomorrow." It was a good album.

And so it went, day after day, hour after hour, until one day...

The doctor didn't come home that evening.


	14. Spock

The tread on the floor wasn't heavy enough to be the doctor's.

Khan lifted his head slightly from the bed and tensed. What had happened to Doctor McCoy? Had he fallen victim to an assassin and a lucky shot? Who was walking?

After a moment, the steps came to the door. "The doctor will be taking shore leave this weekend. As I do not intend to take any, he asked me if I would consider staying with you."

It was the Vulcan. Khan's ears pinned. The Vulcan scared him.

But the Vulcan only served to walk back into the main room and settle on the couch. As a final annoyance, he turned off Khan's music.

Khan hated him.


	15. Khan VS Spock 1

Khan hated the Vulcan more than he hated the Captain. Not quite as much as he hated the doctor.

For one, Spock didn't care about anything. According to him, he had been ordered not to punish Khan for any action, though he was allowed to defend himself if necessary. 

So, if Khan dropped food on the floor, or broke something... He didn't react.

Just cleaned it up and made him comfortable. The doctor would deal with him.

Khan plotted ways to get under the Vulcan's skin as he went about his day to day. 

"Is it hard to be the last of a dying species?"

"It depends upon the definition of hard."

"Lonely. I understand you lost your mother."

"I understand you tried to end our civilization."

"I wouldn't have ended the Vulcans. But I suppose you must not care."

"I care deeply. I simply choose to control my emotions. Do you have a reason for these questions?"

"Merely understanding something."


	16. Grey Star

Khan finally found a sure-fire way to get under the Vulcan's skin. Just put pressure on the Vulcan's missing mother.

How unfortunate that the doctor chose to intervene at that moment. "What on earth is going on? What's he done now?"

Spock got himself back under control with effort. "Nothing, Doctor. Nothing that should matter." He dropped Khan onto the sofa. "I'll be going now. Farewell, Doctor."

"Thanks for watching him, Spock. See you next shift." The doctor stared down at Khan. "You're being a right little terror, aren't you?"

Khan smirked. "Maybe."

"Glad to see some spirit. Now if we could just put it to good use. I don't suppose you want to sleep. I assume you've eaten."

Khan snarled slightly, curling up, holding his eyes closed. He had lost his blindfold in the short struggle with the Vulcan.

McCoy sighed and patted Khan's head. "My little savage. Let's go to sleep."


	17. Pleading

Khan climbed up on top of McCoy when the formidable doctor went to bed that night. 

"Khan, gerroff. You have your own bed."

"Don't leave me with the Vulcan again, Doctor."

McCoy twisted the augment off. "You just don't like him because he won't put up with your bullshit. Now go to sleep."

"Leonard." Khan bowed his head, whispering. "...master. Don't leave me alone with him. I'll do anything..."

The doctor was quiet for a long moment. "Anything, huh? How about taking an interest in the world?"

Khan frowned, but nodded. "All right."


	18. Life Into Darkness

Learning how to exist without sight was like learning to walk again.

Unpleasant, bewildering, and accident-filled.

"Careful!" The Doctor grabbed him about the shoulders, saving him from tumbling to the floor. "You need to sweep the cane where you're going!"

It was compounded by the Vulcan's newfound enmity for Khan and the perfectly logical arguments he was making for further handicapping the Augment.

The Captain, though he didn't want to offend the doctor, found himself taking Spock's side.

There were shouted arguments that Khan was not supposed to hear.

"What more can you take, Jim? I don't want a doll! I want Khan intact!"

"It occurs, Doctor, that if certain limbs were removed-"

"Now, Spock, I know you're a heartless hobgoblin, but think of what you just said for a moment!"

"No, Bones, he has a point."

"Now, don't you-"

"Bones, hear me out. The Admiralty is nervous about Khan's continued presence on this ship, you know that. We can keep everyone happy just by doing a little surgery."

"Dammit, Jim! That's not surgery, that's butchery and you know it. I won't allow it, not when he isn't even over his blindness!"

"Doctor, if I continue to receive pressure from up top, there's nothing we can do about it. It won't even hurt him much. What does he need legs for if all he does is sit and listen to music anyway?"

"Jim, he's getting better-"

"And that's as good an argument as any to take steps. I know you, Bones. You're treating him like he's human. He's going to twist you around his little finger and use your trust against everyone on this ship. You know he can do it."

McCoy was silent.

"If you don't want to do it, have M'Benga do it or I'll stage an accident, make it seem like you did all you could."

"No. I'll talk to him. I'll do it." Leonard muttered it, making it clear he did not want to. "But so help me, Jim, if this goes any further!"

"It won't. I promise. An immobile Augment is as good as a peaceful one."

McCoy snorted. "Get out of my quarters."

Khan sat in the dark and pondered.


End file.
